Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Give me that ball!


Simone has a bone to pick with the older children she supervises in the later half of her shift. Once the bell rings, most of them persist in trying to shoot baskets into the net and then they loiter, taking their sweet time filing into the school.

Simone understands them. She really does. But when her shift is over, she wants to go home. So she's taken to confiscating the basketball of the offending player.

Of course, she gets complaints but lately, she's also getting compliance. When they see Simone approaching, the boys line up to go in the school. They bounce the basketballs but don't start any new games. That's good enough for Simone.

Except that yesterday, one boy pretended that he couldn't understand what Simone was talking about. He actually repeatedly raced away with the ball. And when a teacher grabbed him and dragged him to the principal's office, he went grudgingly and loudly,protesting his innocence.

To say that Simone fumed would be an understatement. To say that the boy was unrepentant would also be an understatement.

Thank-you for sending me this boy to teach me patience.

Monday, May 30, 2011

J’ai oublié de dire au revoir!!!


À 7h30, la fille de 12 ans lança un petit cri depuis la porte d’entrée. « Aie! Je suis en retard! Je me sauve avant de manquer l’autobus! Bye!» La porte claqua avant que Simone ne puisse aller lui souhaiter de passer une bonne journée.
Le petit B, toujours en pyjamas, regarda sa mère de travers.

« Quoi? » Voulu savoir Simone.

« J’ai pas dit au revoir, » dit-il, les yeux larmoyants.

« Si on se dépêche, » proposa Simone, « On peut peut-être enfiler nos manteaux et rattraper ta sœur avant qu’elle n’embarque dans l’autobus? »

Le petit B accepta mais une fois dehors, l’air froid ne lui plût pas et il voulut rentrer aussitôt. Et là, ce fut la crise. « Je n’ai pas dit au revoir! Je n’ai pas dit au revoir! »

Alors Simone de faire semblant d’être la fille de 12 ans qui part à l’école afin que le petit B puisse lui dire au revoir. Ouf! La crise était passée.

Sauf que le petit B annonça, « Il fait trop froid dehors. Je vais mettre mon pantalon de neige aujourd’hui. » Et la météo parle de températures vers les 15 degrés Celsius. On opte pour la crise immédiate et on dit « NON ! » ou bien pour la crise plus tard et on espère qu’il oubliera? D’accord. La crise plus tard…

Friday, May 27, 2011

Heckedy Peg


Heckedy Peg, written by Audrey Wood and illustrated by Don Wood, suddenly became little B's favourite picture book. The story involves a witch who cons seven children named after the days of the week into letting her into their cottage while Mom is out buying the kids the treats they requested from the market. The witch subsequently turns the children into food and carts them away to her hut in the woods. Simone read it at least twice a day. When Simone wasn't reading the book, little B could be found, snug in the couch with the book open on his lap as he recited the lines in the story.

Then came the twist: "Today is Sunday," declared little B. "I want a bowl of egg pudding." He paused and reconsidered his request, given his mother's scornful expression. "Please?"

So Simone made egg pudding with the little guy and he ate a small portion while Simone scarfed back the rest of it. Not a very healthy proposition for Simone but she enjoyed the treat, not precisely making the connection between the book and the request yet.

The following day, the little guy requested a tub of butter. Because, of course, it was Monday. And the child named Monday had requested a tub of butter. Here, things got a smidgeon tense because little B insisted that Simone MAKE the butter and she flat out refused, citing lack of supplies and equipment as the cause. Hubby, fresh from watching a cooking show, saved the day: he took a chunk of butter from the fridge, browned it in a pan, mixed in some more butter with the heat turned off and then poured the concoction in a little container. Voila! A tub of butter.

Simone sighed. Five more days of this, she thought. Then she mentally went through the items the children in the story had requested. Crackers, a tin of salt, a pot of honey, a china pitcher and ... a POCKET KNIFE!

Sigh. Maybe a plastic knife and toy everything else but the crackers would suffice?

Uh, please?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Acceptée!


Simone a reçu la lettre vers la fin de la première semaine d’avril. Elle venait d’être acceptée à l’université de son choix où elle aurait l’occasion d’obtenir son brevet d’enseignement en moins d’un an.

Ce qui était une très bonne nouvelle. Sauf que Simone a peur de tout changement et un retour aux études, à son âge, ce n’est pas du tout facile. Surtout que le mari n’est pas tout à fait d’accord, car les possibilités d’emploi ne sont pas garanties à la sortie des cours.

C’est à voir…

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A beautiful day


Spring seemed to have arrived and Simone was in a chipper mood: the sun shone brightly in the sky, the air warmed up enough that Simone was actually able to go outside without a coat and the puppies frolicked in the grass.

"A perfect day for a bath," she mused aloud. The puppies regarded her quizzically. Humming to herself, Simone went inside and poured a couple of inches of water into the laundry room sink. She fetched the pet shampoo, the dog brush and a couple of towels.

"What are you doing?" Asked the twelve year old girl.

"Ah," said Simone, "A helper!"

The 12 year old took a step back but it was too late. She'd been spotted. "Go get the puppies. It's bathtime."

It turned out that bathing peke-a-poo puppies is MUCH easier than bathing German shepherds! In spite of consistent shaking and the occasional failed attempt at escape, the ordeal went quite well. Within ten minutes, the two little guys were clean and fresh smelling - and shaking like leaves. They spent two hours napping on the 12 year old's lap!

And Simone settled down to watch little B frolick in the sun...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dépêche-toi!


Simone vient de se faire disputer pour la énième fois. Lorsqu’elle surveille les élèves de maternelle dans la cour de récréation et que la cloche sonne, elle aide parfois à les faire rentrer dans la salle de classe.

Parfois aussi, elle est la seule à les surveiller car les autres surveillantes sont parties à leurs autres postes et les enseignantes ne sont pas encore de retour. Dans ces cas-là, Simone reste sur place et surveille son groupe d’élèves de quatre ans, le temps que quelqu’un d’autre prenne la relève.

Oui, mais pendant que Simone s’occupe des petits, il n’y a que les élèves de sixième pour surveiller les enfants de deuxième année. Et les autres surveillantes se voient obligées de jeter un coup d’œil dans les salles de classe de Simone. Ce qui ne doit pas leur plaire énormément.

« Dépêche-toi, » disent-elles à Simone. « Ce n’est pas ta responsabilité de t’occuper des tout-petits. Tu dois aller directement surveiller la prochaine classe dès que la cloche sonne. »

Mouais… Quitte à laisser une vingtaine d’enfants de quatre ans sans surveillance, Simone préfère encore perdre sa job…

Friday, May 20, 2011

Left foot, right foot, right foot, left...


The boots were lined up neatly against the wall.

"Are they in the right order, Madame?" Little J asked Simone.

Simone looked at the boots and realized that if little J slipped them on, they would be on the wrong feet. "No," she said.

Little J beamed, "Thank-you, Madame!" He switched the boots around so that they now were lined up properly, the left boot on the left and the right boot on the right. He then crossed his feet and proceeded to slip the right foot into the left boot and the left foot into the right boot.

...And you just KNOW he's gonna tell people, "But Madame told me to put my boots on this way!"

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Puppies and cages


Simone's new puppies are adjusting to life outside their pet shop window. And aside for the (several) "accidents" on the floor of the room where Simone's mother-in-law used to live, training is going well.

The puppies follow Simone around like, well, puppies and they have great fun chewing on her slippers. Fortunately as they are a small breed, they do not cause much damage yet.

This morning they followed Simone to the door that leads to the garage. This door happens to be in the laundry room, where the puppies' cage is located. Simone carefully shut the door to the garage behind her when she ventured into the garage so that the dogs would not follow her and found them, predictably, waiting for her inside right by the door.

Simone continued on to the kitchen, fully expecting her retinue to follow her to this sacred place full of heavenly scents and those wonderful things humans call "treats". Instead, she heard whining, crying and yipping. Now puppies being puppies, they frequently tousle and make noise but the duration and the distraught tone of the whines sounded somewhat more serious this time so Simone went back to the laundry room to check on her little ones.

Simone approached the dogs. The two puppies stood behind their cage, pawing at it piteously and crying, quite obviously failing to fathom that they could um, maybe go AROUND the cage? Dumbfounded before such silliness, Simone walked out of the laundry room.

She was followed by two now-silent peek-a-poos.

Sigh.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

La cabane à sucre


La classe du petit B allait au marais W où ils allaient passer quatre heures. Dans l’autobus, c’était la fête. Une vraie fête puisque l’enseignante du petit B fêtait son anniversaire!

Après une petite collation lorsqu'ils arrivèrent sur place, le groupe du petit B eut droit à une démonstration de reptiles. Le petit B fut même le premier à caresser un des serpents. Le guide emmena alors les enfants faire une promenade dans la forêt où ils observèrent des cygnes et tentèrent d’attirer des moineaux avec des graines de tournesol – sans grand succès, malheureusement.

La visite dans la cabane à sucre fut super intéressante car l’un des petits mit sa main dans une toile d’araignée, ce qui engendra une crise en A majeur. Le sucre d’érable n’était pas mal non plus!

Un petit tour dans un wigwam et hop! Le groupe a appris à faire cuire du pain dans le feu. Simone laissa sa pâte trainer dans les cendres, ce qui n’ajouta pas grand-chose d’alléchant à son pain. Petite pause pique-nique et retour dans le bus.

Si le tout s’est déroulé avec une rapidité déconcertante, c’est sans doute parce que les 4 heures de visite prévues ont été compressées en deux heures!!! Ouf!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Jelly BEANS!


"Can I have some jellybeans?" Asked little B after dinner.

"Sure," agreed Simone. "Here. I'll give you ten jellybeans." Simone placed the jellybeans on the table in front of little B.

"Ten!" Little B's eyes lit up and his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

Simone placed a hand over the jellybeans just as little B reached grreedily for them. "Yes, but I have a deal to make with you. If you do not eat any jellybeans for ten minutes, I will give you another five jellybeans. You'll have 15 jellybeans then!" Simone slowly removed her hand.

Little B, eyebrows knitted together, considered this proposition then grabbed a jellybean between his thumb and index and brought it to his mouth.

"If you eat even one jellybean," Simone clarified, "You won't get any more jellybeans. But if you leave the 10 jellybeans alone, you can eat 15 jellybeans in ten minutes."

Little B's attention wandered to the television.

"Do you understand?" Simone asked.

"Yeth," little B assured his mother.

"So when the clock gets to 4:55, you call me and say, 'Mom, it's 4:55! Come and see!"

Little B's gaze remained focused on the tv.

Hubby said, "This isn't a fair test. He's autistic and he's in his own world right now. He's not eating the jellybeans because he's forgotten they're there."

Little B's eyes slid to the clock as his hand reached toward the jellybeans. "It's not 4:55," he muttered and retracted his hand.

Simone was in the kitchen cleaning up when little B called out, "It's 4:54, Mom! Only one minute left!" Then, predictably a minute later, he said, "Mome, come and see! It's 4:55!"

Not a single candy had been eaten. Simone counted them twice, using her fingers the first time and her toes the second time, to make sure they were all there. "Okay, here are your 5 additional jellybeans," Simone said, pausing to shake little B's hand. Congratulations! You did super, kiddo!

(And he ate the jellybeans one at a time, savouring them over a half hour period...)

Monday, May 9, 2011

La marelle


Le petit J affichait une mine très heureuse : il avait trouvé un jeu fascinant! « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 et 10, » s’exclama-t-il d’un ton triomphal.

Son costume de neige lui donnait l’air d’être plus gros et grand qu’il ne l’est en réalité alors qu’il sautait de case en case. Bientôt, plusieurs autres enfants dans la cour de récréation arrivèrent, attirés sans doute par la joie évidente du petit J. Sauf que quelques minutes plus tard, deux fillettes qui étaient, elles, nettement plus grandes que le petit J, s’étaient approprié le jeu.

Simone retrouva le petit J accroupi contre le mur à regarder les filles jouer. Elle dit aux filles que ce n’étaient pas gentil d’exclure le petit J alors qu’il avait été là le premier puis elle s’adressa à l’intéressé. « Tu sais qu’il y a d’autres jeux de marelle peinturés sur le sol? »

Le petit J hésita un instant. « Ah oui? » Dit-il, dans le genre « Ça pourrait m’intéresser, ça… »

« Oui, viens voir, » l’encouragea Simone. Sauf que les autres jeux étaient recouverts de sable. Oh, et puis peu importe, se dit Simone. Elle balaya le sable avec son gant. « Oh, regarde! Le chiffre 1! Que penses-tu que je vais trouver ici? » Et d’essuyer la case au-dessus.

« Deux? » Avança le petit J. Un sourire se dessinait sur ses lèvres.

« Parfaitement, » approuva Simone.

Et, sous peu, le petit J retrouva sa belle humeur. Il suffisait de creuser un peu dans le sable…

Friday, May 6, 2011

Puppies


It started innocently enough. Simone's hubby sent her a message: If we were to get a dog, what kind would you get?

That very weekend, they packed up the family and headed to the pet store. Just to look, of course.

Hubby posted himself next to a black lab puppy. Simone nixed that one on account of a) labs shed, b) labs are excitable, c) labs cause considerable damage when they chew and d) labs are fairly large dogs. None of those considerations are particularly bad except that eventually, she knew they would cause hubby to lose patience with the dog.

The 12 year old fell in love with chorkies. Simone wasn't impressed: the chihuahua part was likely yippy. Hubby wasn't impressed either. He felt that the dog would be stepped on, sat on and generally squished on a regular basis.

Little B didn't seem to care about the breed. He just wanted a black dog. Then again, his preference seemed to edge toward the peke-a-poos. Unfortunately, all the peke-a-poo black puppies were males and Simone had stipulated that she wanted a female.

What to do? Get two puppies.

Two puppies? Are you mad???

Apparently, yes.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Les bains de boue!


Les surveillantes ont abdiqué.

Pas totalement. Elles sont présentes physiquement dans la cour d'école mais on a l'impression qu'elles regardent partout sauf là où se trouvent les enfants.

Et il y a une explication qui s’avère complétement valable : la boue. Il y a de la boue partout depuis que la neige a fondu. Elle gèle pendant la nuit et fond le jour, notre boue, afin d’être toute fraiche lorsque les enfants viennent jouer.

Les élèves de l’école s’amusent à enfoncer leurs bottes dans la boue s’ils sont en 4ème année ou bien plus âgés. S’ils sont en 3ème année ou encore en première, ils se jettent des boules de boue. Et en maternelle et au jardin, ils se contentent de s’allonger dans la boue.

Et lorsqu’on s’approche pour protester, on risque fort de se faire éclabousser avec cette boue.

Les surveillantes n’ont RIEN vu.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

J'aime la crème!


Le petit B n'était pas du tout content. Il était assis avec ses amis de jardin et de maternelle qui mangeaient, eux, leur lunch. Le petit B regardait son sandwiche avec méfiance.

"Tu ne manges pas?" Lui demanda son prof.

"J'aime la crème," fit le petit B. Une larme coula le long de sa joue.

"C'est la moutarde du sandwiche au jambon qui ne te plait pas?" Demanda la prof.

"J'aime la crème," répéta le petit B.

"Tu aimes la moutarde?" Insista la prof.

"J'aime la crème."

La prof n'y comprenait rien. Elle alla chercher Simone qui travaillait dans la salle de classe voisine. Et Simone comprit tout de suite.

"Tu voudrais un sandwiche au fromage à la créme?" Demanda Simone au petit B. "Tu n'es pas obligé de manger celui-ci. Tu m'avais demandé un sandwiche au jambon. C'est pour cela qu'il est dans ta boite à diner. Mais ne t'inquiète pas. Tu n'es pas obligé de le manger si tu n'en as pas envie."

Le petit B hocha la tête et essuya ses larmes avant d'embrasser sa mère.

Au fond, nous ne cherchons tous qu'à être compris.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Kinect Ugh


Here is Simone waving. The game does not recognize her. She waves and waves and waves. She tries different types of waves. She tries walking back and forth toward the sensor. She tries turning her back to the machine and waves with the left hand. She walks back and forth again.

Hey! It turned on! Hurrah!

Trouble is that now that the fitness program is on, she can't activate it. Every time Simone tries to pick out an activity, it changes her skin colour or gives her the latest news.

"I don't WANT the news," Simone cries desperately. "I want to do my fitness exercises!"

All to no avail. So Simone is now sitting on the floor, sulking. Might as well write about it...