The illicit turkey caper...

Disclaimer: This picture in no way reflects the events depicted below. However it seemed festive and in keeping with the Christmas spirit, save for the fact that nobody appears to want to kill anyone else. Appearances can be deceiving.

Simone's hubby called at 2 pm to let her know that he was on his way to pick up the Christmas turkey.


"Fresh!" He exuded. "And at a great price!"


At this point, two days before 15 people were supposed to descend upon Simone's household to celebrate the festive season, Simone wasn't too fussy.


"Great," she responded.


"I'm meeting my buddy at 3 pm. I should be home around 4 pm."
Simone smiled. Hubby would be home early - that was always very nice.


Still, she was surprised when he walked in the door at 3: 20 pm, looking dejected.


"My buddy wasn't there," he said. "He thought I'd told him to leave at 3 pm."


The long and the short of this story is that, in and amongst a multitude of phone calls because there'd been a crisis at hubby's work, the 17 year old's complaints because we were out of paper and he needed to pring a project for the next day, the 13 year old's absence when he was due back from school (turned out he was chatting up some girls, including one who had supposedly punched him in the face twice in the previous week) and the 2 year old's crankiness at being woken up before he was ready, Simone and hubby packed up baby and drove 45 minutes to get the turkey.


They met the buddy at a small country grocery store.


Met is a big word. Even after leaving at 3 pm, he still hadn't arrived, at 5:35 pm, at his grocery store.


Hubby warned Simone not to buy anything. "Buddy buys things that are outdated and sells them. That's why his prices are so low."


Simone wondered nervously about the turkey.


She also failed to hide the lollipops, located perfectly in two year old reach. Daddy happily removed the wrapper from the lollipop, to the 2 year old's delight. Nan never lets him have a lollipop to lick. He's stuck with a wrapped up candy. (Hey, if he likes it that way, why feed him the sugar?)


The "fresh" turkey turned out to be frozen.


Simone hoped that nobody would get food poisoning.


Later that night, Baby B threw up, threw up again, threw up a third time.


Simone put him in the bath and he threw up again.


Then he threw up on his train set in his room.


Then he threw up on his pillow.


Simone really, really hopes nobody gets food poisoning...