We've got a bleeder!!!

Simone should have known something was wrong: the 11 and 13 year olds barely bickered this morning. She should have crawled right back into bed where she belonged. This was going to be a nightmare of a day otherwise.

While walking the dog, with the stroller in tow, Simone passed a school. A young boy raced away from the school, his face red and taut, crying, "Dad, Dad!!!" as a white car moved out of the parking lot. Simone tried to wave to the driver of the car as the boy rounded behind her and... the dog nipped at the boy. The boy fell to the ground, clutching his leg. A school bus driver pulled alongside the boy, told him to get in as Simone checked that the dog had not broken any skin and yelled at Simone to get a muzzled for THAT dog. Simone solemnly promised to do so.



The little guy had swimming lessons later that day. He moved like molasses on a cold day and they arrived late. Again. But hey, they got there. Simone got in the change room and realized that it was, of course, that time of the month. A rush of blood gushed out onto the floor and bench of the change room. She inserted one tampon (luckily she'd come prepared). Super strength, no less. Not enough. Blood poured out. A second tampon stopped the flow. But when Simone reached for the wipes in the pool bag, she found only one wipe. And it was bone dry. Somehow, Simone managed to clean up all the blood off the floor and bench, washed up in the washroom then off they headed to the pool.

Simone looked for little B's pool buddies in the little pool. They were nowhere to be found in the little pool because they were in the BIG pool. They were quite far, all wearing lifejackets. Simone brought little B over to a pile of lifejackets, found one his size, put it on and by they time they were ready, the other kiddies were returning to the little pool and removing their lifejackets. Simone brought little B into the little B where the shock of the warm water proved too much for little B's bladder and little B's bladder proved bigger than his swimming diaper. He stood at the shallow end, urinating and smiling beatifically.

Simone was mortified.

Maybe it's not too late to go back to bed? Please? Bed?