I'm late, I'm late for a very important...

That elusive white rabbit of Lewis' must have been designed with Simone Maroney in mind...

This morning, she had a doctor's appointment. She planned everything so she could arrive everywhere on time. Everything, that is, except for the toddler contingency...

The walk to school started 15 minutes later than expected due to a failure on the 10 year old's part to remember that when the temperature dips below 10 degrees Celsius, it is important to remember to wear one's coat. A t-shirt, in such weather, does not constitute adequate covering. Where was that darn coat supposed to be hiding?

By the time Simone returned home, there was no time to walk to the doctor's office across the road. Nope. She had to drive. By then the dog was wound up because she parked next to a vehicle that housed another canine and the toddler did not want to cooperate.

"K'wee," he demanded. (Carry for those of you who do not speak Toddlerease).

Simone Maroney was wearing black high heel boots. While very fashionable, such boots make the carrying of thirty-five pounders with lots of wriggling capacity very difficult. Still, she managed a variation of the fireman's toss for the short distance to the clinic doors. After that, toddler stood at Simone's feet, repeatedly shouting in an increasingly demanding tone, "K'wee! K'wee!"

Simone tried to sidestep, thereby occasionally knocking over the toddler who simply stood up and repeated his demand, or reason and wheedle with such winners as, "Did you want to go push the elevator button for Mommy?"

The toddler wanted nothing to do with this but, lo and behold, they made it to the elevator. By then, Simone was already 10 minutes late for her appointment. Still, no matter how long the elevator might take, the wait would still be shorter than the time it would take to climb the stairs to the third floor.

The receptionist jumped guiltily when Simone arrived in the doctor's office. The reason soon became apparent, as the office nurse, looking frazzled and tucking stray pieces of hair hurriedly back into her bun, kept asking, "Where's her chart? Where's her chart?"

Finally, spotting Simone, the nurse admitted, "We've lost you. Did you change your name?"

A long pause ensued while dozens of potential retorts bubbled up. Perhaps you can come up with a few good ones yourself...

Finally, Simone answered, "No. I still have the same name."

Sigh.

Late, late again.