Dog Treats

You wouldn't think that dog treats could become a cause of dissension. Or, if you have kids, you can already guess where Simone is headed with this.

On the weekend, the husband went to the grocery store to pick up interesting cheeses to accompany the interesting wine he'd already purchased. While there, he spied a box containing an assortment of appetizing cookies. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the cookies were in actual fact dog treats. Amused by the concept, he purchased the item and brought it, along with the cheese, home.

Simone unpacked the groceries and, having ascertained that the box filled with cookie-lookalikes was meant for the dog, hit upon a potential problem.

"We have to hide these from the kids," Simone told her husband.

"Why?" he asked. "They're for the dog."

Simone explained that once the cardboard was removed from the clear plastic container, there would be nothing stating that the cookies were dog treats. "They look so yummy that the kids are bound to try and steal one."

Simone's husband settled for giving the dog a treat. Simone went to work on the computer.

Enter Twiddledee. "I'm hungry," he says. "When's lunch?"

Simone's husband, who is in the middle of preparing the object of Twiddledee's request, asks, "Do you want a cookie?"
Simone valiantly tries to shake her head no to discourage Twiddledee from accepting the "treat". The offer of a free cookie proves too tempting for Twiddledee. Simone's husband says, "I'm going to give one to the dog."

"Don't," says Twiddledee. "It's got chocolate."

"It's carob," says Simone listlessly.

"What?" Twiddledee takes a bite of his cookie. "Hey, not bad," he says.

"They're dog treats," says Simone's husband.

Twiddledee is momentarily stalled. Then he stuffs the rest of the cookie in his mouth before either the dog or his father can retrieve it.

"How about you get Twiddledum," suggests Simone's husband to Twiddledee.

"She'll throw up," wails Simone. On second thought, since Twiddledum used to gleefully eat as much dog food as she could, Simone thinks that Twiddledum may not be against eating a doggie treat or three.

Twiddledee and Twiddledum return. Twiddledum picks out a cookie with sprinkles and takes a nibble. "It tastes different," she says.

"It's a dog treat," says a jubilant Twiddledee.

Twiddledum hesitates then slowly eats the rest of the cookie, pausing to lick the sprinkles off her fingers.

A few hours later, shortly before dinner, Simone caught Twiddledee reaching for the top of the fridge where the container of cookies hid.

"What?" He asked belligerently. "I'm hungry."

Simone removed the container from Twiddledee's grasp with a sigh.

Even when the kids know they're dog treats, they have to be hidden.