It's 8 pm and bathtime in the Simone Maroney household.
How does Simone know it's bathtime? Baby B has removed all his bath toys from their storage place and thoughtfully thrown them into the tub. Since bathtime is normally equivalent to a wrestling session in water and soap, never a good combination, when Baby B is not bath-inclined, Simone immediately seized the proverbial bull by the horns, and got things ready for bathtime. She set a towel out on the ground over Baby B's pillow, laid out his pyjamas as well as a fresh diaper for the night. Then, having removed her clothing, she jumped into the tub.
Baby B, dressed only in a diaper, waddled up to the tub.
Simone reached out, removed the diaper and inquired, when Baby B skiddled out of the way, whether the little guy intended to take a bath.
"Nah," he said, moving further out of Simone's reach.
Simone frowned, puzzled by this behaviour. "Do you want to use the potty?" she asked, gathering the bath toys so she could put them away.
Baby B didn't answer. He ran back and forth the length of the washroom in an agitated manner.
"Go slowly," admonished Simone, "You might slip!"
Undaunted, Baby B continued his frenetic running. It ended rather abruptly with a juicy fart then started up again a moment later until Baby B realized that he had poo sliding down his leg. He then stood still, looked at Simone and pointed needlessly to the mess. There was no way Simone could have missed it. There was poo on the towel, on the floor, on the baby...
Sighing, Simone got out of the tub. Using baby wipes, she cleaned up some of the mess, particularly the stuff on the moving object. Then she clued in to the obvious: she couldn't put the wipes in the toilet or they'd clog it up and she didn't want to put them in the garbage as it had no liner. The diaper genie, guaranteed to contain foul smells and refuse, was not in the washroom. It was not even in the bedroom adjacent to the washroom. It was in the gulp hallway.
Simone placed Baby B, who was extraordinarely cooperative throughout this process, on the bathroom carpet and instructed him not to move. Then she opened the bedroom door a crack. She could see nobody but doors were open and lights were on. She didn't want to be seen wearing the nothing she was wearing.
"Where is everybody?" she shouted.
"Do you need help?" her husband shouted back.
"No. I just want to know where everyone is."
Within a minute the kids were assembled downstairs in the hall. "Now go away," Simone instructed. The kids gave her puzzled stares but did as they were told. Simone's husband stood rooted in place. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"
"Nope, no help needed," Simone darted out, grabbed the diaper genie and darted back. She finished cleaning the mess, scrubbed Baby B and herself in the bath and pulled the full laundry basket over to the stairs before putting Baby B to bed.
"It sounded as though all heck was breaking loose upstairs," remarked her husband when they were sitting together in front of the television.
Simone shrugged and explained her night. "What can you do?" She asked. "Sometimes, s--- happens!"
How does Simone know it's bathtime? Baby B has removed all his bath toys from their storage place and thoughtfully thrown them into the tub. Since bathtime is normally equivalent to a wrestling session in water and soap, never a good combination, when Baby B is not bath-inclined, Simone immediately seized the proverbial bull by the horns, and got things ready for bathtime. She set a towel out on the ground over Baby B's pillow, laid out his pyjamas as well as a fresh diaper for the night. Then, having removed her clothing, she jumped into the tub.
Baby B, dressed only in a diaper, waddled up to the tub.
Simone reached out, removed the diaper and inquired, when Baby B skiddled out of the way, whether the little guy intended to take a bath.
"Nah," he said, moving further out of Simone's reach.
Simone frowned, puzzled by this behaviour. "Do you want to use the potty?" she asked, gathering the bath toys so she could put them away.
Baby B didn't answer. He ran back and forth the length of the washroom in an agitated manner.
"Go slowly," admonished Simone, "You might slip!"
Undaunted, Baby B continued his frenetic running. It ended rather abruptly with a juicy fart then started up again a moment later until Baby B realized that he had poo sliding down his leg. He then stood still, looked at Simone and pointed needlessly to the mess. There was no way Simone could have missed it. There was poo on the towel, on the floor, on the baby...
Sighing, Simone got out of the tub. Using baby wipes, she cleaned up some of the mess, particularly the stuff on the moving object. Then she clued in to the obvious: she couldn't put the wipes in the toilet or they'd clog it up and she didn't want to put them in the garbage as it had no liner. The diaper genie, guaranteed to contain foul smells and refuse, was not in the washroom. It was not even in the bedroom adjacent to the washroom. It was in the gulp hallway.
Simone placed Baby B, who was extraordinarely cooperative throughout this process, on the bathroom carpet and instructed him not to move. Then she opened the bedroom door a crack. She could see nobody but doors were open and lights were on. She didn't want to be seen wearing the nothing she was wearing.
"Where is everybody?" she shouted.
"Do you need help?" her husband shouted back.
"No. I just want to know where everyone is."
Within a minute the kids were assembled downstairs in the hall. "Now go away," Simone instructed. The kids gave her puzzled stares but did as they were told. Simone's husband stood rooted in place. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"
"Nope, no help needed," Simone darted out, grabbed the diaper genie and darted back. She finished cleaning the mess, scrubbed Baby B and herself in the bath and pulled the full laundry basket over to the stairs before putting Baby B to bed.
"It sounded as though all heck was breaking loose upstairs," remarked her husband when they were sitting together in front of the television.
Simone shrugged and explained her night. "What can you do?" She asked. "Sometimes, s--- happens!"
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